He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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