with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
