you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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