Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
