I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
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I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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