I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
