you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
