wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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