Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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