Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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