oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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