next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize