he told me I talked like a deaf person
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
