Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
