grandma shit on top of the toilet
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
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The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
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I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I love you. Go after that dick
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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