Are we in a gay sports bar?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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