Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
