I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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