The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
