i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
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I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
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I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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