Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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