Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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