What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think a kid would responsible me up
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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