I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize