2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
