After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
