The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
