i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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