im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
