is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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