he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
