How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
