Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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