The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.