And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
