After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling