i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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