The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I believe in your delicious
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
