IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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