i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
