Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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