your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
