What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
