he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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