I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
