Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
where are my eyebrows?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
