and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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