god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
