hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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