We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
