dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
