We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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