Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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