whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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