If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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