i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
