Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
