let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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