everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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