shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
