Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
