This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize