Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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