We're facebook friends in real life
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
