i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
