he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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