Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
