I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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