also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I want to be your penis for a week.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
